I feel like...

Writing!.. Well typing that is. Well let's see what is new and exciting in the beautiful world of "Deann Dmere"??.. Well me and Dame Dash have been getting along..:) We actually had a conversation lastnight about "MARRIAGE" Yep! Sure did! So as much as that dam boy pisses me off and can be unreliable a LOT of the time, he is still my "Cutie Pie". And with all the shit i've done hell, him still wanting to marry me and make me his wife is all the validation i need to know that he loves me unconditionally! I'm no saint, but I'll make a great wife! All us women envision getting married one day..being made a wife and taking on their husbands lastname. I'm no different. I definitely believe in marriage and what it symbolizes wholeheartedly so all "Extra-Curricular Activities" will have to be alleviated!..lbs.. We're also keeping the house. We're getting a few walls knocked down and stuff to make it more comfortable for us. I'm glad that we're trying to work more together than apart. We can accomplish so much more.. I linked up with Issac on Friday. He's the guy who has his own record label. "Windy City Records" I basically went out to his studio to listen to some tracks, because the producer cat that he's been telling me about wasn't there. So i listened to a few and actually one of the tracks fits one of my songs, entitled "Waiting So Long". Eventho it fits, it's not really an attention grabber and that's what I need.."Attention Grabbers". So I stayed out there for about an hour, listening to tracks and letting him hear some of my material. We made another appointment for Sunday at noon, b/c that's when the producer would be there. Sure enough Sunday at noon arrives and I call Issac to confirm and he's telling me some other shit! Talking about 3 or 4oclock! You don't know what the hell I got going on! Be professional geez! Don't tell me one thing and then do another! I wouldn't have even known the time was changing hadn't I called his ass first!.So needless to say that I didnt hook up with him and haven't heard from him either..oh well. Dam why can't i hook up with some good legitimate producers to save my life?!! I'm thinking of buying a dam ticked to California and just going down there and buss out in song on the fucken corner! I've got a better chance of getting signed to a publishing deal that way, than dealing with all these loosers! I had spoken to the A&R guy "Kevin Shine" with Jive Records a few weeks ago with his bitch ass! He had me send him some of my songs via e-mail, only to NOT reply back to me damn jerk! How rude!! Ugh!! Some of these people have got to be a product of PPP, because they are severely lacking in the manner's department! Speaking of Rude, I talked to "Big Man" a little bit last week. I sent him a link to the article i wrote in 'Yea She Said It" Magazine. He left a comment and told me that he liked it..:) However his "rudeness" meter went up a notch when he failed to reply to my email. *Kanye Shrug it's cool..im more than over him. He did mention to me how i inspire him..:) and that he was actually thinking of writing a book and that he would be going back to school this year! That is GRAND!!..Good luck with all that Big Man.. I'm sure he'll do well though..he's a smart cookie..:)) So it's almost quitting time and I have to make this long journey home to my baby boy (Gavin) and my Fiance' (Damien) Oooh that even sounds nice.. "My Fiance"..hahahah!!! Well let me not jump the ship cause i need a rock first and not no baby one that i gotta squint both my damn eyes to see!..lol!! He made a great Italian dinner last night and now it's home for fried Chickenwangs tonight!!..Whoo Hoo!!! Well that's my piece on this beautiful Tuesday.. Peace!..

Piss Poor Parenting And You

Piss Poor Parenting And You

I cried...

Last nite. I was hurting and lonely and pissed all rolled into one! Well for a brief recap..let me see here.. Well i havent been talking to Pythian. (Gavin's Grandad) because we had got into it one day a few weeks ago. While Damien was out of town he still had to come by the house and pick the baby up for me so i could work. Well one day upon bringing, Gavin home I asked him of he could just come in the morning b/c I have to leave out by at least 8am to make it to the gig at 9:30. So anyway the next day 8:00 comes and goes and no Pythian. So then i call and ask him, "Where are you?" he tells me grumpily "I'll be there in a minute" So i wait and wait and wait and look at the clock and it's 8:10!! Finally he arrives and of course im pissed! He doesnt say good morning, or he isnt even remotely apologetic about being late! Clearly he didn't give a shit! Now mind you that i pay his ass 20bucks a day to keep my dam baby!..his OWN dam Grandchild! That shit alone still doesn't sit well with me, but "HEY" tough Titty! I do the shit. So anyway I've got to run for the bus and shit and before i got on it he was still loading Gavin into the car, well i hollered out, "If i've got to pay you $20 a day to keep Gavin, I'mma need you to be on time!" Sure did..yea i said it..now what?!. So he calls my cell while im on the bus asking, "What you say?" So this is where the arguing began and resulted in me ultimately hopping back off the bus trucking it back home, called off and told him to bring me my gat dam baby!!! These mofo's betta stop playin with me and mine!!... The tears from lastnite stemmed from just plain o'le frustration! Damien never makes me feel speacial and im just exhausted with this whole tumulous relationship! That's one thing that big Country nicca did do and I can give him that!.. (Big Man) he sure did know how to make a bish feel special. I mean with all the giftcards and candies and flowers he would send me for no reason at all!..that muthafucker had my head swimming!..lol.. Oh well.. moving on... Yea i still aint talked to that crazy azz Chrissy... and don't really plan on it either...her attitude just sucks ass! I went and performed back at Checkerboard last Tuesday. It was dead as fuck!..and now Zamien's bright azz call himself flirting with me..lol....boy bye! I killed it tho. I performed "Rockstar" and my girl Alesha was in the house showing support. We all went out last weekend as a matter of fact for Alesha's birthday. She had it at the "Green Dolphin"..(Never Again!!) just tooooooooo ghetto! My gosh I love my people, but I really like the diverse crowds. We rocked it anyway and had a good ol'e fashioned Glamour Girl time!.:) I also had gotten up with Shelita (Chyna Beach) a few times last week and blew something.. She still on the same ole "slut" shit..lol..sorry but it's true! Hey who am I to judge do you mama! Gavin my baby boy is the light of my life! I know that he loves me for sure if nobody else does. He 's getting sooooo big!! i swear he grows every night! childcare is taking it's sweet time with processing my paperwork..smh..assholes! He is soooo ready to be in school and i'm ready to get him in there. Father's day was just this past Sunday and I got Dame some nice shoes and a shirt. He went out of course..smh..any reason to drink and smoke. Oh well that's all I've got to vent about right now.. I'll be back sooner than lata!.. Chow!

What's New & Exciting part deuce!

Oh I wasn't done...lol! I had a few more things to talk about. So just if i do get some spontaneous random readers i want to clarify something. My relationship with Gavin's dad is a very difficult one. We have been together for years and years and years and I am only 27..lol! Seriously tho. i just don't want the random reader to think i'm some slut bucket b/c i'm not. As of now and about 5 years me and him have only been together for convenience. Sad i know but true. And now since Gavin is in the mix even more so, but i'm about to change all that in a hot minute so stay tuned... So back to what i was about to say.. So remember Tommy?? My Cutie Pie Nigerian friend. Well he contacted me out the blue about a month ago. we chatted and i was so... elated to hear from him, b/c our little encounter was brief but nasty!..lol! No not raunchy nasty meaning the ending was nasty. You know i tear heads off with this tongue of mine..lmao but vvs.. So anyway he's such a charmer and so am i so i met him afterwork once and we hung out til about 2am. I was tired as shit b/c i had to work the next day. He pissed me off yet again!! Waiting on his big head ass brother and shit. I'm like. "Dude can i get the fuck outta here?!!" He gave me $50 and I hailed a cab i was pissed! Just because i was looking forward to the ride home with him you know?.. Just jerks. So i talked to him here and there, but was just done with his whole "I be busy" attitude. Well so am I dude, so get the fuck on and don't call my ass nomore! That's how we fix that.. Then around the same time I bumped back in to Tommy i was walking back from Nordstroms to work when i spotted this other nice looking guy. So i did what I do and smiled and said , "Hey there" or something like that. Anyway long story short we exchanged numbers. His name is Marcus and he was pretty cool. We went out and had Drinks a few times, a concert, movies shit like that. Now this muthafuka is getting frisky! I'm like dam!! WTF!! I ain't going. For one he's lame as hell!!..lol!! Total square, but you know sometimes you need a square in ya life. Besides they have their pro's and con's. He open's doors and pays for everything without a problem. He cant dress for shit tho and is just an overall nerd! So it looks like i'mma have to cut him off too. I also went to the "Wild Hare" a few weeks ago with my buddy "Say-So" and i met some guy up there. "Harry" Anyway i think he just wanted to hit my reefer, but it was all good. Anyway I had him take me home and when my duck ass gets out the car i left my friggin phone! So when i finally do get it back from him, i go thru it and it's pics of him and shit and pics of his TV..feet just dumb shit! i'm like WTF?? Freaky so he never got a call from me either. The thing is this muthafuka couldn't take the hint! He kept calling and calling and texting and leaving messages..Go away crazy ass dam! Okay let me inhale this polish sausage...nooo people get your minds out the gutta!!!..lol!! That's my Piece Peacceeee

Whats New & Exciting??

Well quite a few things. Umm..let's see.. As of now im still at home with Damien.. (Eh) but it's been great for the last 8days!..lol. Well that's only b/c his ass has been in MIA living it up!..Good have fun we all deserve some. Me and Gavin had a smashing good time, just enjoying oneanother's company. He loves his mama, if noone else does. I'm still at a halt with my music and thangs, but that's okay. I've decided that eventhough writing and creating is what makes me come alive, I need to focus more on immediate things so that, everything can start to flow accordingly. Like for one an apartment! I've got to get out of that dam house as soon as possible! Once i'm nice and comfortable in my new place and finally get Gavin in a school then i can start to focus more on my writing, because right now i just get frustrated and flustered and start to think that it wont happen for me. I can't allow those types of thoughts to enter my brain i know...but sometimes they do. I found out last week that an old friend of mine is expecting..smh.. What the hell right?? She is the absolute last person IMO that needs to be having a dam baby! First off she doesn't even like children and has absolutely no problem with relaying that to you and her own children for that matter. Secondly, she hasn't even been in Georgia a full year yet and she's already knocked up by some ninja! Then she says that he "Tricked her"..lmao!! Girrrrrrl get that shit the fuck outta here! Who you think you talking too?.. Boo Boo the Fool? Aint no nigga's "Trying" to get chicks knocked up! She sounded like a plum fool telling me that mess. Then she's what 33 or 34 about to have a dam baby! Starting all over again??..The Fuck!!. So i ask was she gonna stay down there in Georgia or what? She says, "Oh no i'm coming back home, i'mma need some help" Girl!! WTF! So you having some nigga's baby who is in Georgia and now you gonna pull the baby boy back out of school and bring him back to Chicago so that you can have some help with your new little bastard child?? Lord help her. But all i did was say "Oh" and "Okay" but im sure she could sense my disdain about the whole situation.. Get yo ass a pet if you want something to just have for showcasing and playing, but babies are real and they deserve love and attention two things that i've never witnessed her give her children..sorry but it's the truth. Oh well..it's her life.. I'll be praying for that baby tho.. I talked to Big Man today. I sent him a good morning picture text of myself on yesterday and we talked briefly. I dont know what the fuck it is about that muthafucka! But i swear my heart wont turn him loose. As hard as I try it just wont go away. He said he's gonna send me some money to come to birthday Bash 06/19.. that's where he'll be.. Pray for me.. That's my Piece Peace