Heeeey Nah!... *poplocks

I'm stoked!!.. So my mom texted me late last nite telling me that she had heard, on the radio all day yesterday that Steve Harvey would be sponsoring a showcase at the Regal Theater on Thursday, which is ummm tomorrow! You know my ass jumped right on it! So I found out that they are only accepting the first 300 individuals to audition. I've got to be there super early, cause i've just got to get in there! I'm gonna sing my dam heart out! I'm gonna get that publishing deal one way or another. And my manager Paul is soooo... accomodating and supportive! He let me have the whole day off without any problems..so sweet of him.:) I wont forget you Paul when I make it!..LBS.. On another note I got approved for the apartment in Hyde Park Whoo Hoo!.. Well Damien did actually b/c my credit is shot at this point, but either way im excited because i am sooooooo...ready to get out that dam house! Citimortgage can come and air lift that b*tch off the ground if they want too!.. It's just too many hassles, bills and repairs when dealing with a house! Knowing what i know now, i'll be much wiser going in the second time around... I'm pondering on what song i should sing on tomorrow?. "Make U Mine" is my baby and I always sing it so well to me, but "Waiting In Vain" is just so emotional all the way thru that it's bound to give someone chills. So IDK just yet..i've gotta get home in the mirror and practice..lol... I went to the movies lastnite and saw that "Death at a Funeral" really could have waited until it came out DVD..but that dam show is just so phucken nice! High as hell, but nice nonetheless. Oh well thats my piece for today beautiful peoples...Peace..

*Sighs...

I'm in such a foul mood today! Lord help me!..I've been crying all dam day and the shit is doing nothing but giving me a fucken headache!!! My life is at a halt! I don't know what the fuck I'm s'pose to be doing when it comes to my so called "Relationship". I have the same dam argument with his ass all the time! Every time i think that we can work it out and salvage what we have, something happens to make me want to leave his ass all over again!. Now even before Gavin was born the argument was always the same. His ass wants to go outside every fucken day and sleep the dam day away when he is home. Like WTF is that! So things are no different than they were 11yrs ago! He's not supportive about any of my writings and he's immature as hell! I cant have an adult conversation with his ass w/o him giggling like a gat dam school girl! So i've posted some videos of myself singing some of my material acapella on Youtube. Everyone was so phyched about it! Especially his mother. So yesterday I pull up the "Youtube"and show him and he says nothing of course. Then i show him a new video that i had just uploaded the nite before. I was performing a song entitled "Anything" and before i went into the song i stated, "I wrote this for "Damien" years ago". Do you know what this muthafuka does? He laughs!! Yes! Laughs right in my fucken face! Like that gat dam school girl!..How insensitive is that?? That is my support system..like seriously. That shit hurt my fucken feelings, but do you think he gave a shit?..No! Then i asked, "What the fuck are you laughing about?" he says, "I'm just saying, why you put me on blast like that and yadda..yadda..yadda.." boy shut the fuck up! First of all aint nobody checking for your duck ass!..and secondly you should be flattered that i made a song for you nimrod! I can see if i was bashing the nigga in the song, but i was giving him props and saying that he could get "Anything" from me b/c he's so good! So yea this is the type of dumbshit i gots to deal with at home!.. Then lastnite he just haaaad to get his ass out the house! I'm like RUS?? Dam! What you think you gonna miss something out there in the street?. I was just baffled b/c we had just had an argument about the same shit the day before and he goes and do the same shit again??.. So i text him and say, "You make me sick!" He says, "I'm dropping Ken off too his car..I'm on my way!" Fuck Ken!!! You got shit at home that you need to get in order! I dont give a dam about no muthafucking Ken! Then he calls and I don't answer, so he text me some bullshit saying, "Dont be mad, it just be tight situations, you just need to understand." lol!!! Boooooooy you got me twisted inside and out! What the fuck do i need to understand huh?.. That your lil boy ass would rather rip and run the streets all dam day and night than spend time with your family?. That taking Ken to his fucken car is more important than Gavin and me??. I didn't even respond to that shit..b/c had i did, it wouldn't have been pleasant.. Then "Big Man" is smelling himself as usual. I sent him a random text one night lastweek some sweet shit. I dont know why i keep playing my own dam self when it comes to him, b/c i know he's a fucken asshole!..IDK..I guess eventhough I don't like his ass..my hearts still in love with him. Well anyway I sent his ass a text like 1:30am my time 2:30am his time. I knew he would be sleep, but that was fine cuz he would just get it when he woke up in the a.m. Plus we use to do this type of shit all the time. So i text, "Im thinking about you.". So the next day i gets nothing. No call..no text. So I text his big head ass, like "Hey You." He finally returns that text like 2 fucken hrs later! Such a gat dam fuckboy! I'm like, did you not get my text lastnight?.. "Oh yea I was dead sleep".."Umm i figured that, but thought that you hadn't received it since, i didn't get a reply." "I did reply sweetheart". Liar!!!! Not to this one..cuz I didn't get shit!. So i move on to something else. Letting him know i'll be in ATL for "Birthday Bash" this year and asked would I be able to see his face.. The muthaphuka ignores me again and that was it.. i went in!!!!.. Told his ass, "Why must you be so dam rude??! A simple I'm busy would suffice! What you think you too good to talk to me or sumthin?.. He's like, "Just b/c i reply late?.." i'm like, "Or not at all!"..You're just to dam rude for me..forget it!..He's like, "Okay". What the fuck Eva with all these punk ass niggas! I swear they get on my last fucken nerve!!!!!! OOOh weee i need to blow this spot asap and get me a blunt and a drink!!!!!! okay lata.

Me Rapping and singing some of my material..