Whats going on!!

Hello my lovely blog!! Today is FRIDAY!!! Thank heavens!! It took all the strength in my 5 foot body to get out of bed this morning! Whew! Well for a brief update let me see... Well, Damien and I have officially separated. Yes.. he has moved out. It was what needed to happen. We were arguing just waaaay too much and besides the intimacy and all that has dissolved years ago between us! It was just time to move on. So the only downside to him being gone of course is me footing the bills for EVERYTHING! Mortgage, Lights, Gas, Food, Phone, transportation..etc. So yea it's a lot! Oh and lets not forget the fact that he was the COOK! so fuck yea i am missing all the good eats and shit! I may have to invest in one of those Converter ovens that cooks whole meals in like 20 minutes straight from the freezer! Only because by the time i get home its close to 9pm! I be tired as hell! i don't feel like cooking nada! ..But the baby can't eat Mcdonalds and Popeyes every dam night!..So yea I've got to figure something out. Speaking of my baby boy..he is doing just fine! Getting bigger and taller! He's gonna be tall like his uncles i can tell! I've been searching for a new gig! With Damien gone i'll definitely need more money! Even though that little bit of money that i was able to squeeze out of his ass wasn't shit! I told him that he would have to give me $300 a month for Gavin ($150 every two weeks) so we'll see! I would hate to have to take him to child support, but i will if i have too! He's just too inconsistent! So last weekend was my H.S reunion. I went to some of the festivities and it was just nice to see everyone 10yrs later. Some people gained weight..some lost. Some even lost hair!..lol! I'm like dam! WTF happened?.. But anyway on Friday night the "Meet & Greet" was held at a club called "Juniors". So i go with my buddy Edress and we were having a good time. I had a few drinks and was feeling gooooood! So i see my ex-friends that DONT talk to me (Alesha, Shawndia and Tanesha) sitting against the wall. I go over being my usual breezy self and ask jokingly, "What yall having a Glamour Girl Meeting?" Just talking shit! I aint mean no harm at all. Anyways Alesha sloppy ass goes in!.. Like, "Aint nobody on that!..Aint nobody said shit to you....yadda yadda..yadda!" I mean pissed off! So clearly this big bitch is still mad at me ova some shit that happened last JUNE!!..lol! Girl let that shit goooooo!! So anyway she got her hands all in my face and everything!..lmao! Like she is really bad! So i slap her hand out my face and "Patty" another girl that we went to H.S with hauls off and punches me in the face!.. I couldn't believe it! I had never had an issue with Patty! so needless to say it was complete pandamonium in the place! I was flabbergasted! The picnic was that Sunday tho and Patty made her way over to me to apologize. I accepted the apology since i felt it was sincere and again i never had an issue with her! I guess she was protecting her amazonian BFF Alesha!..lmao! It's all good tho.. they can stay mad..i'm good! Bubba came and saw me on lunch last week in his drop top Benz and we was styling and profiling on Michigan avenue! People were looking like, "What that Black girl doing with that Asian boy!"..lol! Whateva! Bubba to quiet tho! I just take the lack of conversation as a muthafucka not really being interested! So thanks for the Ride and the spliff Bubba but, umm your number has been deleted..Sowwie..:( I go see my sissy this weekend! Yay!! Going to go and get my hair done for this LA trip on the 23rd. Burundi is s'pose to be sending for me..we'll see. He talk so much shit! He did put some money in my account for me last week tho, so we'll see what happens. I already put the time in at work so im ready!..Just waiting on him! If he fake me out i'm calling my buddy "Say-So" since he's in Vegas. See if he can send for me so i can come hang out down there with him for a weekend! I've started writing a second novel and its Gooooooood! I'm gonna start the process to get the first one published finally! I'm adamant about being progressive this year and getting things DONE! Okay that's my piece on this Friday afternoon PEACE!..:)

"You Better Leave Me"

http://youtu.be/zKsai_KiTiU I looove this song! Found it on another site called "Soul Bounce" and i am hooked!! Love how he flipped the whole script and made a song entitled "You better Leave me!" Man that is innovative! I'm mad as hell that i didn't come up with that first!..lol! I'm definitely inspired tho! Gonna see if i can play around with some words in my head and come up with something along similar lines! Dopeness!! I love it!!! :))

Beyonce “Till the End of Time” MP3

Beyonce “Till the End of Time” MP3 Hola!! I just heard this new Beyonce track on "TheFAder" and I Love it!! Great little summer song!! I can see me dancing to this come July 4th night!.:))

Moody Monday

Hola! Today i am not in the best of spirits. The weekend was actually pretty chill. I got out on Friday and hung out a bit with Kawanee and then BigMika it was cool. Saturday and Sunday the weather sucked major ass so i stayed in. So the thing that pissed me off this morning was the fact that Damien's ass complimented our4yr old at least 3 times this morning and didnt bother to say anything to me! Then on top of that he opens the door as we're leaving and yells, "Bye Gavin have a good day!" Okay like the baby is taking his fucking self to school you know?! Like how dam rude! You can't even say "Goodbye, have a good day" to me?.. That shit hurts my fucken feelings! Like is it really to the point where you can't say those small kind words to me?.. As much shit as i have to do! Get up at 7 iron me and Gavin's clothes, feed him!.. get him clean and dressed and ready for school! Wait on the bus..get off the bus take him in the school, wait BACK on the bus just so i can head downtown to work! All this shit EVERY DAM DAY and i can't get a "Have a good day?!" BULLSHIT!! I called that asshole and told him, "If i cant even get your ass to say "Good morning have a nice day" to me, then you really need to be getting up out my shit! Dam! I'm just so tired of being un happy, not loved, or tounched or even talked to for that matter! That "Get out" shit is played and i'm tired of even saying the shit! I just want a new start! Please Lord Help ME!! What the hell am I s'pose to be doing???? So lastweek sometime i viewed an apartment not to far from where i live. It was a 2bdrm for 750 a month which includes heat! The place wasn't anything to scream about, but it was quaint and affordable. I called the guy this morning and he told me that i've got it! I'm so afraid of making the wrong move! But i do know that if i continue living the way im living i'll continue to be unhappy and behind and miserable! I dont want that life!.. I'm tired of it.. I was taking my baby to school lastweek and this guy stopped in his car trying to talk to me. His name is Cornellius and he's a bit older and retired! So i gave him my # and the pussy calls me EVERY DAM DAY!! Like what the fuck dude! Slow the fuck down shit!! His old ass called me the whole dam weekend but I had my phone on silent and didn't feel like talking to his ass! So today i get to work and he calls, I figure i'd answer since the motherfucker called me about 20 dam times! So i answer and he's like, "This is Cornellius and i was looking for Ms. Ebony". So I'm like, "Ebony" my name isn't "Ebony. So this dumb ass instead of simply apologizing and saying, "Oh i'm sorry love and proceed from there, this dipshit tells me, "Well that's what you told me your name was.". I'm looking at my phone like what??.. GTFOH! I aint told you know shit like that! I said, "No i never told you that!" He's like, "Well im not about to argue with you, but that's what you told me!". Okay so i was already in a pissy ass mood and this old fuck just added to it! Hell naw you aint gotta argue with me about nothing asshole! Get the fuck off my line! I hung up in his dam face! Stop playing with me dude! And so "Bubba" is back on the scene..i guess.. *Shrugs*. He text me "Hey Spicy Lips" last week while i was here at work. We chatted for a bit and he told me that he's on crutches right now. Poor thang. So we made a date to link up tomorrow, but im gonna cancel. Tired of hanging out with these bullshit ass niccas! I need to find my happy place! And i'm just not in a mood to be entertaining some shit that's going absolutely nowhere!! Plus i don't talk to him enough to be going out "Hanging" with him! So Fuck Damien, Fuck Cornellius thirsty dumb ass and Fuck Bubba's fat ass too! I'm done with them all!!

I am loving this lil song!..

Werk B.S

Hey there!.. Well I am at this place called "Werk" and I just had to nip some shit in the bud! Now i've mentioned to 2 of my co-workers before that all the whispering and giggling that they do in the office is beyond rude! So both of them had the whole "Wide Eye" look when i brought it to them before and claimed that, I was tripping. So i thought hey maybe i was! But this morning I come in and they start it up again with all the whispering and shit so i called their asses out on it! I said, "All that whispering and shit that yall do is Rude!" So one co-worker, actually the one that was doing the whispering didn't utter a word. But the other one "Danielle" said, "She was tryna tell me something and it had nothing to do with you". I'm like, "How the hell do i know that?" The shit is just rude! Just cut it out PERIOD!! Dam! Talking about, "But we grown". Well Act like it! Geesh! So moving on from that. Let's see... Umm last week I went out to Woodridge to visit Charisma. She's got a nice place..she's trying to move tho. So yea i hung out with her for a lil bit. That shit with "Bubba's" ass may be over! He's stood me up not once but twice right now! So i'm positive that it won't be a third time! Asshole. Dame and I haven't been talking very much.. *Shrug* there's just not much to say anymore I guess. Oh last weekend Me, Timika and Erica took babysistah "Stasha" out for her 20th birthday! Man I can remember that girl being 7 when i first met Damien and now she's 20!! *Sniff* So grown up! And such a good girl! We went to "Mr. Browns Lounge" in the WestLoop and she had a few drinks and was feeling gooooood!..lol! She snagged the finest mofo in the club that night too!..lmao!! Good Stuff!.. Well that's about all i got to gossip about today.. Oh yea Osama Bin Laden is DEAD!! I'm not one to celebrate anyones death, but yea he's outta here! Oh well that's my piece on this hump day Peace!!..:))

Sooo played!!

so i made a video about things that are still said and done that are so fuccen PLAYED!!.. lol! I was highly annoyed!!..

Really Now??

Afternoon well evening just about!.. Today is Money making Monday and my mood isn't the very best! Well the weekend was pretty slowmotion. I didn't get into much mischief and pretty much stayed indoors. I got out for a bit on Friday. Hooked up with my old buddy from Grade School "Shanique" and we drank and laughed for awhile. I got to playing that "Michael Jackson Experience"and it was allll she wrote!..lol! I got a glimpse of Bubba on Friday night too. He came and bumped heads with me and we chilled for a min before I had him drop me off to Shanique. I sooo.. miss "Tomi boy". Was s'pose to hang out with him on Saturday, but was in straight lazy mode and decided to reschedule our time. IKR!! The Phuck! When we alllll...know that Tomi is the muthaphuka that we want!..lol! Oh well, hell you can't be so available to these niccas all the dam time! Tho i wanted to throw on some threads and hurry to him, i decided against it. Hopefully we'll get up later on during the week. So what brings me to blog this evening is "Bubba's" ass! So Saturday I ask him via text if he can buy me some perfume. I didn't really see the big dam deal! I mean it's $40 Perfume! Smell goods, come on now! So he asked me, "What was the name" but after I told him he got all dry and shit thru text like, you know there was an issue with him getting it for me. Okay now check this. I work. I can really buy my own $40 bottle of perfume or for that matter get another mofo to buy it okay! He has no issue with asking for Pics and videos and shyt but you wanna act all crazy when i ask you to get me something as small as perfume?? Okay so that was Sat and he really never said "Yes or No" about it. So today he sends me a text saying, "Man I lost all of your pics cuz i've got a new phone" so no problem.. i re-send the pics. Then i say, "So you never told me if you were getting me perfume or not. did you look online?" So this mofo says, "No i didn't look, but what if i told you no?" WHAT?!! So you know i'm pissed at this point right? cuz im thinking like, really what's the fucking deal?!. I can't get a dam bottle of perfume out cho ass??.. Get the fuck outta here! Miss me with the bullshit alright! Cheap ass bastard! Then to top it all off, last week he sent me some raunchy text asking me what color panties i had on.:) I replied, like "Green" And that was that. So today after he sends me this bullshit text asking me if i'm upset about the perfume and I say, "Nope" which is a dam lie im sure he knows! This fuck has the nerve to text, "But i'll take you shopping for panties tho". Umm excuse me pervert! I can go panty shopping on my dam own! I don't need your funky ass! Pissed me off! Typical man shit! You can't buy me perfume but you'll have no problem purchasing something that's along the lines of SEX! Stupid ass! He may have went and gotten his ass deleted for this dumb shit here! Jackass! Ugh! I can't believe you Bubba!!..smh.. Tomi just texted and Friday it is..Whoo hooo!!!.:)))))))))) Oh so why Saturday i receive a message from "Harry" saying, "Whatchu doing?..Come blow with me.." So i'm all for that! I reply, "Cool come scoop me." This motherfucker text back, "I can call you a cab and I've got $5 on it!" Boooooy if you dont get the fuck outta my inbox with that bullshit! Hammercy! I can't win for loosing with these dudes! So needless to say i ignored his ass b/c i didn't wanna have to curse his ass out! Just go away Harry! I'm just too good for you!..Sorry.. I was kinda bummed out and not being able to make "Brittain's" party on Sat at Crush. I couldn't find ANYONE to come with me! WTF!! I am in serious need of a female rappie! I swear that is one thing that I miss the most about my old BF "Alesha" that bitch would go ANYWHERE with me!..lol! I sure do miss that..:( "Burundi" put a call and a few texts in to me over the weekend too.. *Rolls eyes* IDK i'm just so over Burundi and all these nicca's who think they can get "Free Milk!" Not happening!! Call it what you want, but if they can open their mouths to ask for ass.. and tit pics.. and facetime and quality time and..videos..etc then my muthaphucking hand is open! The fuck they think this shit is ova here! "Tomi" know what it is!..These other niccas betta catch up and read the memo! Okay that's all I've got for today... Chow!

It's the weekend..again

I swear these days are rolling by! Good grief! Well for a brief update lets see. I hung out last weekend at this place called "Rumba" it was a pretty fun time! They gave you a Salsa lesson and everything while there..it was cool! The food was absolutely divine! I had "Empanadas" which is basically a Latin "Potpie" kinda dish! It was good tho. I met up with Tmani and Kawanee while I was there and it was decent. I texted "Tomi" while i was out and asked where he was. He was at the "Embassy" and asked me to come thru... Of course! I heart Tomi!..lol! He was having a lil party up there too! He had like 7 guys and like 5 girls there. Some of his college buddies from out of town were visiting. So they all got dressed to hit up "Shrine" and we stayed behind.:))) I asked him for $100bucks yesterday and he was nice enough to bring it all the way down to my gig, for me..Aww thank you Tomi boy♥♥ So my plans for this weekend include hanging out at this club "Charismaz" for this girl Brittain's bday. We'll see. I wanna hang out with Tomi again Saturday too, so i've gotta see what i can make happen. I deleted "Burundi" from my FB account. He's always got some shit to say to me that I don't like! I'm sure it's because I ignore him and don't really fuck with him that much. He just talks to much about all the shit he's "Doing" when in fact i don't see a dam thang! I mean he's in L.A and all, but he needs to learn how to court a woman! He just want's me falling all over him and all, but that's not about to happen! He ain't did shit for me so he can miss me with all that! I've been choppin it up with "Bubba" lately too! He's opening up a bit more and I'm learning him..its goodstuff.:) He's a mad cool dude. :)) I went online and found a comedy set that's happening at the Arie Crown on 4/30 so i want us to go! I'm sure he'll be down..I at least hope so!..lol. My best man "Gavin" is still fighting the last of his cold.. I'm gonna take him to the "Kids Table" on 04/29. That should be fun!. It's "Kids can Cook" and it's Mexican Fiesta night!.. So im excited about that!.:) Kids and Kites will be back here on 05/07 as well! He looooooved that event the last time we went there. So i am absolutely stoked about getting him back there. My girlfriend "Kawanee" lost her job on yesterday..:( bummer! With her trying to move and back in school for her Masters this couldn't have come at a badder time! She's a smart cookie tho and I'm absolutely sure she will be just fine. I had to remove "Chrissy" from my newsfeed on FB yesterday as well. She post much to much vulgar ish on FB! She's forever talking about how she likes to "Swallow" on there! Like seriously?.. Girl you look the fool! I swear some ppl just do shit for Shock value!..smh.. Just TMI!.. Gosh i swear i can't remain cool with that girl for long!.. I just don't really like her and the way she lives!.. But hey that's just my opinion.. Okay that's my piece on this Friday afternoon! Gonna hit the treadmill and run for a bit on lunch..chow bella! :)

Baby Bubba..:))

It is officially the weekend!!!.. Thank Heavens! I've got something planned for tomorrow night but tonight I am taking my ass HOME!..Man it took all I had in me to get my butt out of bed this a.m! Rain does that to you, you know?.. Well yesterday evening I hung out with my Chinese buddy "Bubba". Real cool, chill dude. I pride myself on having an eclectic group of friends/associates. Plus, its always cool to get to know about different cultures and how they live you know?.. Well anyway I met Bubba lastyear and we've hung out quite a few times and it's always been cool. He's really a gentleman and I absolutely adore that about him! He's always opening my door to the car..the restaurant..making sure i'm comfortable.. I appreciate all that.:) So lastnight we hit up "Jagrille" Jamaican Cuisine restaurant. The food was "Decent" nothing to take your breath away that's for dam sure! The few sisters/brothers that were there, stayed looking in our dam direction too!.. They bout were thinking, "What is this Black girl doing with a Chinese man in a Jamaican restaurant?"..lmao! Whateva! Phuck yall! So he ordered Curry Shrimp with Rice beans and plantain and convinced me to get the Oxtails. I was not at all pleased with my entree!..lol! He wanted to eat some of my oxtails tho, that's why he made me get them!.lol! We also had Honey glazed wings and Jamaican beef patties for the appetizers. I had a drink called "Jamaican Kiss" and it was goooooood. He doesn't drink so I had another one for him..lmao!! The ambiance is really nice at Jagrille tho..I'm sure it's really live in the summer, with the outdoor seating and all.. I'd recommend it.:) It was time to get me home after dinner and that was that. I'm gonna look to see if any comedy sets are coming up soon and maybe him and I can hit one up, cause I like hanging out with "Baby Bubba!".:) I've made plans to meet my my girl Taleice and Kawanee at "Rumba" tomorrow night so I'm ready for that! It's a Latin restaurant and lounge that's really nice! Great fare and music and I cant wait to shake my tail feather! Kawanee ass know's how to Salsa so I know she's ready to shut shyt down tomorrow!..lol! Well i'm looking forward to it!.. Gonna rock me a lil dress and whatknot!.:) Well that's my piece on this rainy Friday luvs.. Peace!..

Mike Posner - Bow Chicka Wow Wow ft. Lil Wayne

Im lovin this lil song right now!..lol..Bow chica Bow wow!...:)

Harry the Haitian!..

Hello there! Long time no Font!.:) Well I chose today to vent about my latest rendevous! So yesterday i decided to go and hang out with one of my Haitian friends "Harry". Now Harry is 35yrs young and honestly, one of the most respectable guys I have met in a loooooong time! For this reason alone I entertain our friendship. I mean I have a host of male platonic friends, i really don't need anymore! It's only a matter of time before they start to get that look in their eyes and want to become more that just "Friends", Be that as it may, there was just something about "Harry" that rubbed me the right way. So yesterday I wasn't feeling like carrying my ass straight home after work so I didn't! I called Harry and asked if he wanted to blow back.. sure he did! Come on ova! So I did. Now i had never been to this mans house, but considering he is 35 I'm giving the benefit of the doubt that you have your shit together!..At least your own place!.. So needless to say i get ova there and this mofo lives in the basement!! Yes the wet dank ass basement of his moms house! So I don't get to judging right then and there.. i wait. So then we go and take a seat in the cold ass dinningroom area with shit thrown all over the fuccen floor..like seriously boi??.. At this point i'm STILL no judge.. So he lights incensse Cool. I like Inscense..:) So not even 5 mins into the burning, he gets a loud pound on the door. He excuses himsself and goes to answer it. His MOTHER barges in and starts going HAM on his ass for lighting the inscense!..lmao!! I mean she is PISSED!!. She gets to speaking her native Haitian creole tongue and it is beyond embarrassing!! I hear thuds and things falling..i was actually scared! So like 20mins later he brings his ass back to the dinningroom laughing like the shit's funny when it's totally not!! So now, i'm side eyeing dude like "Really?" I ask, "Did you get in trouble?.." He's like, "Naw it's cool." Hmmmm..okay! So then we flame up and.. all of a sudden the lights go out!!!... *Sighs.. Power outage?..Or you didnt pay the bill?.. Either way i'm blowin this spot!! I'mma need you to getcho shit together with your living situation.. your mom...this inscense issue..and COMED before you invite anymore women over to your basement apartment to blow! Dam Harry!..smh...

Family

Well mine I swear the most aint worth a pot to piss in! Hello my lonely blog! How i've missed you so!..Happy new Year!! i plan on making this year a very productive one! I claim that this will be the year of progress and increase! The good Lord blessed me with $7,000 and I was able to get all the much needed repairs on my house! He also blessed me with giving me lower mortgage payments of $843 going forward so I am just elated about all that! So now that, all of that is in perspective i can focus more seriously on my music. I've vowed not to let anything or anyone deter me on my journey to land a musical placement this year! I'm sticking to that! I've also decided that after my bday (2/20) i will be giving up the spliffs FOR GOOD!! They just make me too lazy and i let a lot of things go undone. This year i will be traveling to "NEW YORK CITY!!" I know it's probably not a huge deal but it is to me, only b/c i've never been and have been trying to get there forever!! So i am traveling alone.. No sweat! Me being me i'm sure i'll meet someone out there to hang with! I'm just excited about the trip overall. I want a real NYC experience! Jamaican Beef Patty's and all!..lol! So, as far as family life goes, it's been pretty decent. I was blessed with some of the funds before the holidays and so i was in a real giving mood, so i gave out pretty nice gifts this year. Gavin had a great Christmas and his dad and I have been getting along pretty well (Thank God) We're not married or anything yet, but honestly i'm not for sure if Damien is the guy i would want to marry, so yea!..the jury's still out on that one. He has however been more reliable with funds for the house and bills and such, so that's been a relief. We shall see tho, b/c i've expressed to him how i WILL NOT do what we've been doing for another whole year so i must say there has been some improvements. I am not currently speaking with my sister or mother or maybe anyone on my mothers side of the family. I've just decided to throw in the towel with them. I honestly don't think they love me and Gavin so instead of continuing to wollow in it and wonder why they don't i just think its easier to accept that they don't and just keep it moving. Everything that happnes is s'posed to that's why it did, so my assumption is that Damien's family are My Family! That's the way God made it, so that's the way it is. It hurts but i've gotta be strong..like always. I love them, but they hurt me too much God and i just dont want to keep going thru that. So i ask that you cover me Lord and those that run across this Pray for me. Keep me Lord and hear my prayer. If there is any anger in my heart towards anyone i ask that you remove it. I forgive all those who have wronged me, but i haven't forgot. Continue to love me and guide me. In your name i pray forever and always Amen.

I'm In DEMAND!!!!

hahahahah!! And its the stone cold truth babes! Hello my lonely little ol'e blog! It's been almost 3months to the date that i have last updated you, my apologies. Well i've been doing a few things. I'm not a famous songwriter yet, but I feel like i'm making great progress! So most recently i went to this major networking event with Def Jam, Sony, Jive and Epic records. It was really cool and i met a lot of great people. Malik Yusef and Burundi Partlow being two important individuals. They both work and know Kanye West personally and actually liked some of my music! So tomorrow i am actually going into the studio to try and work on songs to submit to some industry singers. Keri Hilson, Kelly Rowland and KeKe Palmer (The little sweet Disney Girl) all need songs! I'm excited b/c i feel like i have songs that would fit them all perfectly! Beyonce is looking too of course and I got 3 or 4 i would like to submit to her so oh yea i'm staying on top of these ppl to hopefully, prayfully make something happen. Please Jesus!! My baby boy Gavin is in School now!! Whoo Hoo!! And he loves it! I'm so happy about that! And he is fully pottytrained!! No more pull ups! He's still a delight and my little big man.:) My situation with his dad is still in Limbo. I actually asked him to leave sometime in Aug and he was gone all of 2dam days!..smh.. I went to court though and the judge finally entered a sale date on my property.:( Well it's bittersweet actually. I'm thinking that this may very well be the push i need to get up and out of there, b/c it really is just too much on me and im just tired of dealing with it. Then again it's my home and my baby loves it! So IDK. I'm still working with the Lender to see what can be done, but i'm also still looking for an apartment, so yea which ever one comes through first! It's just been hell trying to find a place with my credit being the eye sore that it is. so prayfully the Lord makes something happen for Gavin and I. I had gotten sick too. I actually have A MD appointment tomorrow to see what the issue is. I pray nothing too serious. So i'll update you more on that. I have been getting a LOT of attention from the opposite sex and you know it feels dam good! lol! Especially since i chopped all my dam hair off Amber Rose style. Well not really. I've always preferred to wear my hair natural this weave thing was something new i was trying and though i'm not totally against weaves i just like my natural hair better.:) So i'm loving all this attention b/c I feel like hey this is what you get with me, you either like it or not and im supper confident with this shit, b/c hell its only hair! So when i get a brother tryna holla it makes me smile b/c im sure he can detect the whole confidence thing.. i'm exuding that shit!..hahahahaha!! I've got a few, but 1 who I'm interested in really and a new potential that i met this morning! Superintendent of the Park District with the City! So yea..pretty impressive. Older 36 Goooooooood. So we shall see. I'm hanging my broke ass out tonight! No straight homes from work! Well that's my piece babes.. Peace:)

I feel like...

Writing!.. Well typing that is. Well let's see what is new and exciting in the beautiful world of "Deann Dmere"??.. Well me and Dame Dash have been getting along..:) We actually had a conversation lastnight about "MARRIAGE" Yep! Sure did! So as much as that dam boy pisses me off and can be unreliable a LOT of the time, he is still my "Cutie Pie". And with all the shit i've done hell, him still wanting to marry me and make me his wife is all the validation i need to know that he loves me unconditionally! I'm no saint, but I'll make a great wife! All us women envision getting married one day..being made a wife and taking on their husbands lastname. I'm no different. I definitely believe in marriage and what it symbolizes wholeheartedly so all "Extra-Curricular Activities" will have to be alleviated!..lbs.. We're also keeping the house. We're getting a few walls knocked down and stuff to make it more comfortable for us. I'm glad that we're trying to work more together than apart. We can accomplish so much more.. I linked up with Issac on Friday. He's the guy who has his own record label. "Windy City Records" I basically went out to his studio to listen to some tracks, because the producer cat that he's been telling me about wasn't there. So i listened to a few and actually one of the tracks fits one of my songs, entitled "Waiting So Long". Eventho it fits, it's not really an attention grabber and that's what I need.."Attention Grabbers". So I stayed out there for about an hour, listening to tracks and letting him hear some of my material. We made another appointment for Sunday at noon, b/c that's when the producer would be there. Sure enough Sunday at noon arrives and I call Issac to confirm and he's telling me some other shit! Talking about 3 or 4oclock! You don't know what the hell I got going on! Be professional geez! Don't tell me one thing and then do another! I wouldn't have even known the time was changing hadn't I called his ass first!.So needless to say that I didnt hook up with him and haven't heard from him either..oh well. Dam why can't i hook up with some good legitimate producers to save my life?!! I'm thinking of buying a dam ticked to California and just going down there and buss out in song on the fucken corner! I've got a better chance of getting signed to a publishing deal that way, than dealing with all these loosers! I had spoken to the A&R guy "Kevin Shine" with Jive Records a few weeks ago with his bitch ass! He had me send him some of my songs via e-mail, only to NOT reply back to me damn jerk! How rude!! Ugh!! Some of these people have got to be a product of PPP, because they are severely lacking in the manner's department! Speaking of Rude, I talked to "Big Man" a little bit last week. I sent him a link to the article i wrote in 'Yea She Said It" Magazine. He left a comment and told me that he liked it..:) However his "rudeness" meter went up a notch when he failed to reply to my email. *Kanye Shrug it's cool..im more than over him. He did mention to me how i inspire him..:) and that he was actually thinking of writing a book and that he would be going back to school this year! That is GRAND!!..Good luck with all that Big Man.. I'm sure he'll do well though..he's a smart cookie..:)) So it's almost quitting time and I have to make this long journey home to my baby boy (Gavin) and my Fiance' (Damien) Oooh that even sounds nice.. "My Fiance"..hahahah!!! Well let me not jump the ship cause i need a rock first and not no baby one that i gotta squint both my damn eyes to see!..lol!! He made a great Italian dinner last night and now it's home for fried Chickenwangs tonight!!..Whoo Hoo!!! Well that's my piece on this beautiful Tuesday.. Peace!..

Piss Poor Parenting And You

Piss Poor Parenting And You

I cried...

Last nite. I was hurting and lonely and pissed all rolled into one! Well for a brief recap..let me see here.. Well i havent been talking to Pythian. (Gavin's Grandad) because we had got into it one day a few weeks ago. While Damien was out of town he still had to come by the house and pick the baby up for me so i could work. Well one day upon bringing, Gavin home I asked him of he could just come in the morning b/c I have to leave out by at least 8am to make it to the gig at 9:30. So anyway the next day 8:00 comes and goes and no Pythian. So then i call and ask him, "Where are you?" he tells me grumpily "I'll be there in a minute" So i wait and wait and wait and look at the clock and it's 8:10!! Finally he arrives and of course im pissed! He doesnt say good morning, or he isnt even remotely apologetic about being late! Clearly he didn't give a shit! Now mind you that i pay his ass 20bucks a day to keep my dam baby!..his OWN dam Grandchild! That shit alone still doesn't sit well with me, but "HEY" tough Titty! I do the shit. So anyway I've got to run for the bus and shit and before i got on it he was still loading Gavin into the car, well i hollered out, "If i've got to pay you $20 a day to keep Gavin, I'mma need you to be on time!" Sure did..yea i said it..now what?!. So he calls my cell while im on the bus asking, "What you say?" So this is where the arguing began and resulted in me ultimately hopping back off the bus trucking it back home, called off and told him to bring me my gat dam baby!!! These mofo's betta stop playin with me and mine!!... The tears from lastnite stemmed from just plain o'le frustration! Damien never makes me feel speacial and im just exhausted with this whole tumulous relationship! That's one thing that big Country nicca did do and I can give him that!.. (Big Man) he sure did know how to make a bish feel special. I mean with all the giftcards and candies and flowers he would send me for no reason at all!..that muthafucker had my head swimming!..lol.. Oh well.. moving on... Yea i still aint talked to that crazy azz Chrissy... and don't really plan on it either...her attitude just sucks ass! I went and performed back at Checkerboard last Tuesday. It was dead as fuck!..and now Zamien's bright azz call himself flirting with me..lol....boy bye! I killed it tho. I performed "Rockstar" and my girl Alesha was in the house showing support. We all went out last weekend as a matter of fact for Alesha's birthday. She had it at the "Green Dolphin"..(Never Again!!) just tooooooooo ghetto! My gosh I love my people, but I really like the diverse crowds. We rocked it anyway and had a good ol'e fashioned Glamour Girl time!.:) I also had gotten up with Shelita (Chyna Beach) a few times last week and blew something.. She still on the same ole "slut" shit..lol..sorry but it's true! Hey who am I to judge do you mama! Gavin my baby boy is the light of my life! I know that he loves me for sure if nobody else does. He 's getting sooooo big!! i swear he grows every night! childcare is taking it's sweet time with processing my paperwork..smh..assholes! He is soooo ready to be in school and i'm ready to get him in there. Father's day was just this past Sunday and I got Dame some nice shoes and a shirt. He went out of course..smh..any reason to drink and smoke. Oh well that's all I've got to vent about right now.. I'll be back sooner than lata!.. Chow!

What's New & Exciting part deuce!

Oh I wasn't done...lol! I had a few more things to talk about. So just if i do get some spontaneous random readers i want to clarify something. My relationship with Gavin's dad is a very difficult one. We have been together for years and years and years and I am only 27..lol! Seriously tho. i just don't want the random reader to think i'm some slut bucket b/c i'm not. As of now and about 5 years me and him have only been together for convenience. Sad i know but true. And now since Gavin is in the mix even more so, but i'm about to change all that in a hot minute so stay tuned... So back to what i was about to say.. So remember Tommy?? My Cutie Pie Nigerian friend. Well he contacted me out the blue about a month ago. we chatted and i was so... elated to hear from him, b/c our little encounter was brief but nasty!..lol! No not raunchy nasty meaning the ending was nasty. You know i tear heads off with this tongue of mine..lmao but vvs.. So anyway he's such a charmer and so am i so i met him afterwork once and we hung out til about 2am. I was tired as shit b/c i had to work the next day. He pissed me off yet again!! Waiting on his big head ass brother and shit. I'm like. "Dude can i get the fuck outta here?!!" He gave me $50 and I hailed a cab i was pissed! Just because i was looking forward to the ride home with him you know?.. Just jerks. So i talked to him here and there, but was just done with his whole "I be busy" attitude. Well so am I dude, so get the fuck on and don't call my ass nomore! That's how we fix that.. Then around the same time I bumped back in to Tommy i was walking back from Nordstroms to work when i spotted this other nice looking guy. So i did what I do and smiled and said , "Hey there" or something like that. Anyway long story short we exchanged numbers. His name is Marcus and he was pretty cool. We went out and had Drinks a few times, a concert, movies shit like that. Now this muthafuka is getting frisky! I'm like dam!! WTF!! I ain't going. For one he's lame as hell!!..lol!! Total square, but you know sometimes you need a square in ya life. Besides they have their pro's and con's. He open's doors and pays for everything without a problem. He cant dress for shit tho and is just an overall nerd! So it looks like i'mma have to cut him off too. I also went to the "Wild Hare" a few weeks ago with my buddy "Say-So" and i met some guy up there. "Harry" Anyway i think he just wanted to hit my reefer, but it was all good. Anyway I had him take me home and when my duck ass gets out the car i left my friggin phone! So when i finally do get it back from him, i go thru it and it's pics of him and shit and pics of his TV..feet just dumb shit! i'm like WTF?? Freaky so he never got a call from me either. The thing is this muthafuka couldn't take the hint! He kept calling and calling and texting and leaving messages..Go away crazy ass dam! Okay let me inhale this polish sausage...nooo people get your minds out the gutta!!!..lol!! That's my Piece Peacceeee

Whats New & Exciting??

Well quite a few things. Umm..let's see.. As of now im still at home with Damien.. (Eh) but it's been great for the last 8days!..lol. Well that's only b/c his ass has been in MIA living it up!..Good have fun we all deserve some. Me and Gavin had a smashing good time, just enjoying oneanother's company. He loves his mama, if noone else does. I'm still at a halt with my music and thangs, but that's okay. I've decided that eventhough writing and creating is what makes me come alive, I need to focus more on immediate things so that, everything can start to flow accordingly. Like for one an apartment! I've got to get out of that dam house as soon as possible! Once i'm nice and comfortable in my new place and finally get Gavin in a school then i can start to focus more on my writing, because right now i just get frustrated and flustered and start to think that it wont happen for me. I can't allow those types of thoughts to enter my brain i know...but sometimes they do. I found out last week that an old friend of mine is expecting..smh.. What the hell right?? She is the absolute last person IMO that needs to be having a dam baby! First off she doesn't even like children and has absolutely no problem with relaying that to you and her own children for that matter. Secondly, she hasn't even been in Georgia a full year yet and she's already knocked up by some ninja! Then she says that he "Tricked her"..lmao!! Girrrrrrl get that shit the fuck outta here! Who you think you talking too?.. Boo Boo the Fool? Aint no nigga's "Trying" to get chicks knocked up! She sounded like a plum fool telling me that mess. Then she's what 33 or 34 about to have a dam baby! Starting all over again??..The Fuck!!. So i ask was she gonna stay down there in Georgia or what? She says, "Oh no i'm coming back home, i'mma need some help" Girl!! WTF! So you having some nigga's baby who is in Georgia and now you gonna pull the baby boy back out of school and bring him back to Chicago so that you can have some help with your new little bastard child?? Lord help her. But all i did was say "Oh" and "Okay" but im sure she could sense my disdain about the whole situation.. Get yo ass a pet if you want something to just have for showcasing and playing, but babies are real and they deserve love and attention two things that i've never witnessed her give her children..sorry but it's the truth. Oh well..it's her life.. I'll be praying for that baby tho.. I talked to Big Man today. I sent him a good morning picture text of myself on yesterday and we talked briefly. I dont know what the fuck it is about that muthafucka! But i swear my heart wont turn him loose. As hard as I try it just wont go away. He said he's gonna send me some money to come to birthday Bash 06/19.. that's where he'll be.. Pray for me.. That's my Piece Peace

Rockstar.