I cried...

Last nite. I was hurting and lonely and pissed all rolled into one! Well for a brief recap..let me see here.. Well i havent been talking to Pythian. (Gavin's Grandad) because we had got into it one day a few weeks ago. While Damien was out of town he still had to come by the house and pick the baby up for me so i could work. Well one day upon bringing, Gavin home I asked him of he could just come in the morning b/c I have to leave out by at least 8am to make it to the gig at 9:30. So anyway the next day 8:00 comes and goes and no Pythian. So then i call and ask him, "Where are you?" he tells me grumpily "I'll be there in a minute" So i wait and wait and wait and look at the clock and it's 8:10!! Finally he arrives and of course im pissed! He doesnt say good morning, or he isnt even remotely apologetic about being late! Clearly he didn't give a shit! Now mind you that i pay his ass 20bucks a day to keep my dam baby!..his OWN dam Grandchild! That shit alone still doesn't sit well with me, but "HEY" tough Titty! I do the shit. So anyway I've got to run for the bus and shit and before i got on it he was still loading Gavin into the car, well i hollered out, "If i've got to pay you $20 a day to keep Gavin, I'mma need you to be on time!" Sure did..yea i said it..now what?!. So he calls my cell while im on the bus asking, "What you say?" So this is where the arguing began and resulted in me ultimately hopping back off the bus trucking it back home, called off and told him to bring me my gat dam baby!!! These mofo's betta stop playin with me and mine!!... The tears from lastnite stemmed from just plain o'le frustration! Damien never makes me feel speacial and im just exhausted with this whole tumulous relationship! That's one thing that big Country nicca did do and I can give him that!.. (Big Man) he sure did know how to make a bish feel special. I mean with all the giftcards and candies and flowers he would send me for no reason at all!..that muthafucker had my head swimming!..lol.. Oh well.. moving on... Yea i still aint talked to that crazy azz Chrissy... and don't really plan on it either...her attitude just sucks ass! I went and performed back at Checkerboard last Tuesday. It was dead as fuck!..and now Zamien's bright azz call himself flirting with me..lol....boy bye! I killed it tho. I performed "Rockstar" and my girl Alesha was in the house showing support. We all went out last weekend as a matter of fact for Alesha's birthday. She had it at the "Green Dolphin"..(Never Again!!) just tooooooooo ghetto! My gosh I love my people, but I really like the diverse crowds. We rocked it anyway and had a good ol'e fashioned Glamour Girl time!.:) I also had gotten up with Shelita (Chyna Beach) a few times last week and blew something.. She still on the same ole "slut" shit..lol..sorry but it's true! Hey who am I to judge do you mama! Gavin my baby boy is the light of my life! I know that he loves me for sure if nobody else does. He 's getting sooooo big!! i swear he grows every night! childcare is taking it's sweet time with processing my paperwork..smh..assholes! He is soooo ready to be in school and i'm ready to get him in there. Father's day was just this past Sunday and I got Dame some nice shoes and a shirt. He went out of course..smh..any reason to drink and smoke. Oh well that's all I've got to vent about right now.. I'll be back sooner than lata!.. Chow!