Harry the Haitian!..

Hello there! Long time no Font!.:) Well I chose today to vent about my latest rendevous! So yesterday i decided to go and hang out with one of my Haitian friends "Harry". Now Harry is 35yrs young and honestly, one of the most respectable guys I have met in a loooooong time! For this reason alone I entertain our friendship. I mean I have a host of male platonic friends, i really don't need anymore! It's only a matter of time before they start to get that look in their eyes and want to become more that just "Friends", Be that as it may, there was just something about "Harry" that rubbed me the right way. So yesterday I wasn't feeling like carrying my ass straight home after work so I didn't! I called Harry and asked if he wanted to blow back.. sure he did! Come on ova! So I did. Now i had never been to this mans house, but considering he is 35 I'm giving the benefit of the doubt that you have your shit together!..At least your own place!.. So needless to say i get ova there and this mofo lives in the basement!! Yes the wet dank ass basement of his moms house! So I don't get to judging right then and there.. i wait. So then we go and take a seat in the cold ass dinningroom area with shit thrown all over the fuccen floor..like seriously boi??.. At this point i'm STILL no judge.. So he lights incensse Cool. I like Inscense..:) So not even 5 mins into the burning, he gets a loud pound on the door. He excuses himsself and goes to answer it. His MOTHER barges in and starts going HAM on his ass for lighting the inscense!..lmao!! I mean she is PISSED!!. She gets to speaking her native Haitian creole tongue and it is beyond embarrassing!! I hear thuds and things falling..i was actually scared! So like 20mins later he brings his ass back to the dinningroom laughing like the shit's funny when it's totally not!! So now, i'm side eyeing dude like "Really?" I ask, "Did you get in trouble?.." He's like, "Naw it's cool." Hmmmm..okay! So then we flame up and.. all of a sudden the lights go out!!!... *Sighs.. Power outage?..Or you didnt pay the bill?.. Either way i'm blowin this spot!! I'mma need you to getcho shit together with your living situation.. your mom...this inscense issue..and COMED before you invite anymore women over to your basement apartment to blow! Dam Harry!..smh...

Family

Well mine I swear the most aint worth a pot to piss in! Hello my lonely blog! How i've missed you so!..Happy new Year!! i plan on making this year a very productive one! I claim that this will be the year of progress and increase! The good Lord blessed me with $7,000 and I was able to get all the much needed repairs on my house! He also blessed me with giving me lower mortgage payments of $843 going forward so I am just elated about all that! So now that, all of that is in perspective i can focus more seriously on my music. I've vowed not to let anything or anyone deter me on my journey to land a musical placement this year! I'm sticking to that! I've also decided that after my bday (2/20) i will be giving up the spliffs FOR GOOD!! They just make me too lazy and i let a lot of things go undone. This year i will be traveling to "NEW YORK CITY!!" I know it's probably not a huge deal but it is to me, only b/c i've never been and have been trying to get there forever!! So i am traveling alone.. No sweat! Me being me i'm sure i'll meet someone out there to hang with! I'm just excited about the trip overall. I want a real NYC experience! Jamaican Beef Patty's and all!..lol! So, as far as family life goes, it's been pretty decent. I was blessed with some of the funds before the holidays and so i was in a real giving mood, so i gave out pretty nice gifts this year. Gavin had a great Christmas and his dad and I have been getting along pretty well (Thank God) We're not married or anything yet, but honestly i'm not for sure if Damien is the guy i would want to marry, so yea!..the jury's still out on that one. He has however been more reliable with funds for the house and bills and such, so that's been a relief. We shall see tho, b/c i've expressed to him how i WILL NOT do what we've been doing for another whole year so i must say there has been some improvements. I am not currently speaking with my sister or mother or maybe anyone on my mothers side of the family. I've just decided to throw in the towel with them. I honestly don't think they love me and Gavin so instead of continuing to wollow in it and wonder why they don't i just think its easier to accept that they don't and just keep it moving. Everything that happnes is s'posed to that's why it did, so my assumption is that Damien's family are My Family! That's the way God made it, so that's the way it is. It hurts but i've gotta be strong..like always. I love them, but they hurt me too much God and i just dont want to keep going thru that. So i ask that you cover me Lord and those that run across this Pray for me. Keep me Lord and hear my prayer. If there is any anger in my heart towards anyone i ask that you remove it. I forgive all those who have wronged me, but i haven't forgot. Continue to love me and guide me. In your name i pray forever and always Amen.

I'm In DEMAND!!!!

hahahahah!! And its the stone cold truth babes! Hello my lonely little ol'e blog! It's been almost 3months to the date that i have last updated you, my apologies. Well i've been doing a few things. I'm not a famous songwriter yet, but I feel like i'm making great progress! So most recently i went to this major networking event with Def Jam, Sony, Jive and Epic records. It was really cool and i met a lot of great people. Malik Yusef and Burundi Partlow being two important individuals. They both work and know Kanye West personally and actually liked some of my music! So tomorrow i am actually going into the studio to try and work on songs to submit to some industry singers. Keri Hilson, Kelly Rowland and KeKe Palmer (The little sweet Disney Girl) all need songs! I'm excited b/c i feel like i have songs that would fit them all perfectly! Beyonce is looking too of course and I got 3 or 4 i would like to submit to her so oh yea i'm staying on top of these ppl to hopefully, prayfully make something happen. Please Jesus!! My baby boy Gavin is in School now!! Whoo Hoo!! And he loves it! I'm so happy about that! And he is fully pottytrained!! No more pull ups! He's still a delight and my little big man.:) My situation with his dad is still in Limbo. I actually asked him to leave sometime in Aug and he was gone all of 2dam days!..smh.. I went to court though and the judge finally entered a sale date on my property.:( Well it's bittersweet actually. I'm thinking that this may very well be the push i need to get up and out of there, b/c it really is just too much on me and im just tired of dealing with it. Then again it's my home and my baby loves it! So IDK. I'm still working with the Lender to see what can be done, but i'm also still looking for an apartment, so yea which ever one comes through first! It's just been hell trying to find a place with my credit being the eye sore that it is. so prayfully the Lord makes something happen for Gavin and I. I had gotten sick too. I actually have A MD appointment tomorrow to see what the issue is. I pray nothing too serious. So i'll update you more on that. I have been getting a LOT of attention from the opposite sex and you know it feels dam good! lol! Especially since i chopped all my dam hair off Amber Rose style. Well not really. I've always preferred to wear my hair natural this weave thing was something new i was trying and though i'm not totally against weaves i just like my natural hair better.:) So i'm loving all this attention b/c I feel like hey this is what you get with me, you either like it or not and im supper confident with this shit, b/c hell its only hair! So when i get a brother tryna holla it makes me smile b/c im sure he can detect the whole confidence thing.. i'm exuding that shit!..hahahahaha!! I've got a few, but 1 who I'm interested in really and a new potential that i met this morning! Superintendent of the Park District with the City! So yea..pretty impressive. Older 36 Goooooooood. So we shall see. I'm hanging my broke ass out tonight! No straight homes from work! Well that's my piece babes.. Peace:)

I feel like...

Writing!.. Well typing that is. Well let's see what is new and exciting in the beautiful world of "Deann Dmere"??.. Well me and Dame Dash have been getting along..:) We actually had a conversation lastnight about "MARRIAGE" Yep! Sure did! So as much as that dam boy pisses me off and can be unreliable a LOT of the time, he is still my "Cutie Pie". And with all the shit i've done hell, him still wanting to marry me and make me his wife is all the validation i need to know that he loves me unconditionally! I'm no saint, but I'll make a great wife! All us women envision getting married one day..being made a wife and taking on their husbands lastname. I'm no different. I definitely believe in marriage and what it symbolizes wholeheartedly so all "Extra-Curricular Activities" will have to be alleviated!..lbs.. We're also keeping the house. We're getting a few walls knocked down and stuff to make it more comfortable for us. I'm glad that we're trying to work more together than apart. We can accomplish so much more.. I linked up with Issac on Friday. He's the guy who has his own record label. "Windy City Records" I basically went out to his studio to listen to some tracks, because the producer cat that he's been telling me about wasn't there. So i listened to a few and actually one of the tracks fits one of my songs, entitled "Waiting So Long". Eventho it fits, it's not really an attention grabber and that's what I need.."Attention Grabbers". So I stayed out there for about an hour, listening to tracks and letting him hear some of my material. We made another appointment for Sunday at noon, b/c that's when the producer would be there. Sure enough Sunday at noon arrives and I call Issac to confirm and he's telling me some other shit! Talking about 3 or 4oclock! You don't know what the hell I got going on! Be professional geez! Don't tell me one thing and then do another! I wouldn't have even known the time was changing hadn't I called his ass first!.So needless to say that I didnt hook up with him and haven't heard from him either..oh well. Dam why can't i hook up with some good legitimate producers to save my life?!! I'm thinking of buying a dam ticked to California and just going down there and buss out in song on the fucken corner! I've got a better chance of getting signed to a publishing deal that way, than dealing with all these loosers! I had spoken to the A&R guy "Kevin Shine" with Jive Records a few weeks ago with his bitch ass! He had me send him some of my songs via e-mail, only to NOT reply back to me damn jerk! How rude!! Ugh!! Some of these people have got to be a product of PPP, because they are severely lacking in the manner's department! Speaking of Rude, I talked to "Big Man" a little bit last week. I sent him a link to the article i wrote in 'Yea She Said It" Magazine. He left a comment and told me that he liked it..:) However his "rudeness" meter went up a notch when he failed to reply to my email. *Kanye Shrug it's cool..im more than over him. He did mention to me how i inspire him..:) and that he was actually thinking of writing a book and that he would be going back to school this year! That is GRAND!!..Good luck with all that Big Man.. I'm sure he'll do well though..he's a smart cookie..:)) So it's almost quitting time and I have to make this long journey home to my baby boy (Gavin) and my Fiance' (Damien) Oooh that even sounds nice.. "My Fiance"..hahahah!!! Well let me not jump the ship cause i need a rock first and not no baby one that i gotta squint both my damn eyes to see!..lol!! He made a great Italian dinner last night and now it's home for fried Chickenwangs tonight!!..Whoo Hoo!!! Well that's my piece on this beautiful Tuesday.. Peace!..

Piss Poor Parenting And You

Piss Poor Parenting And You

I cried...

Last nite. I was hurting and lonely and pissed all rolled into one! Well for a brief recap..let me see here.. Well i havent been talking to Pythian. (Gavin's Grandad) because we had got into it one day a few weeks ago. While Damien was out of town he still had to come by the house and pick the baby up for me so i could work. Well one day upon bringing, Gavin home I asked him of he could just come in the morning b/c I have to leave out by at least 8am to make it to the gig at 9:30. So anyway the next day 8:00 comes and goes and no Pythian. So then i call and ask him, "Where are you?" he tells me grumpily "I'll be there in a minute" So i wait and wait and wait and look at the clock and it's 8:10!! Finally he arrives and of course im pissed! He doesnt say good morning, or he isnt even remotely apologetic about being late! Clearly he didn't give a shit! Now mind you that i pay his ass 20bucks a day to keep my dam baby!..his OWN dam Grandchild! That shit alone still doesn't sit well with me, but "HEY" tough Titty! I do the shit. So anyway I've got to run for the bus and shit and before i got on it he was still loading Gavin into the car, well i hollered out, "If i've got to pay you $20 a day to keep Gavin, I'mma need you to be on time!" Sure did..yea i said it..now what?!. So he calls my cell while im on the bus asking, "What you say?" So this is where the arguing began and resulted in me ultimately hopping back off the bus trucking it back home, called off and told him to bring me my gat dam baby!!! These mofo's betta stop playin with me and mine!!... The tears from lastnite stemmed from just plain o'le frustration! Damien never makes me feel speacial and im just exhausted with this whole tumulous relationship! That's one thing that big Country nicca did do and I can give him that!.. (Big Man) he sure did know how to make a bish feel special. I mean with all the giftcards and candies and flowers he would send me for no reason at all!..that muthafucker had my head swimming!..lol.. Oh well.. moving on... Yea i still aint talked to that crazy azz Chrissy... and don't really plan on it either...her attitude just sucks ass! I went and performed back at Checkerboard last Tuesday. It was dead as fuck!..and now Zamien's bright azz call himself flirting with me..lol....boy bye! I killed it tho. I performed "Rockstar" and my girl Alesha was in the house showing support. We all went out last weekend as a matter of fact for Alesha's birthday. She had it at the "Green Dolphin"..(Never Again!!) just tooooooooo ghetto! My gosh I love my people, but I really like the diverse crowds. We rocked it anyway and had a good ol'e fashioned Glamour Girl time!.:) I also had gotten up with Shelita (Chyna Beach) a few times last week and blew something.. She still on the same ole "slut" shit..lol..sorry but it's true! Hey who am I to judge do you mama! Gavin my baby boy is the light of my life! I know that he loves me for sure if nobody else does. He 's getting sooooo big!! i swear he grows every night! childcare is taking it's sweet time with processing my paperwork..smh..assholes! He is soooo ready to be in school and i'm ready to get him in there. Father's day was just this past Sunday and I got Dame some nice shoes and a shirt. He went out of course..smh..any reason to drink and smoke. Oh well that's all I've got to vent about right now.. I'll be back sooner than lata!.. Chow!

What's New & Exciting part deuce!

Oh I wasn't done...lol! I had a few more things to talk about. So just if i do get some spontaneous random readers i want to clarify something. My relationship with Gavin's dad is a very difficult one. We have been together for years and years and years and I am only 27..lol! Seriously tho. i just don't want the random reader to think i'm some slut bucket b/c i'm not. As of now and about 5 years me and him have only been together for convenience. Sad i know but true. And now since Gavin is in the mix even more so, but i'm about to change all that in a hot minute so stay tuned... So back to what i was about to say.. So remember Tommy?? My Cutie Pie Nigerian friend. Well he contacted me out the blue about a month ago. we chatted and i was so... elated to hear from him, b/c our little encounter was brief but nasty!..lol! No not raunchy nasty meaning the ending was nasty. You know i tear heads off with this tongue of mine..lmao but vvs.. So anyway he's such a charmer and so am i so i met him afterwork once and we hung out til about 2am. I was tired as shit b/c i had to work the next day. He pissed me off yet again!! Waiting on his big head ass brother and shit. I'm like. "Dude can i get the fuck outta here?!!" He gave me $50 and I hailed a cab i was pissed! Just because i was looking forward to the ride home with him you know?.. Just jerks. So i talked to him here and there, but was just done with his whole "I be busy" attitude. Well so am I dude, so get the fuck on and don't call my ass nomore! That's how we fix that.. Then around the same time I bumped back in to Tommy i was walking back from Nordstroms to work when i spotted this other nice looking guy. So i did what I do and smiled and said , "Hey there" or something like that. Anyway long story short we exchanged numbers. His name is Marcus and he was pretty cool. We went out and had Drinks a few times, a concert, movies shit like that. Now this muthafuka is getting frisky! I'm like dam!! WTF!! I ain't going. For one he's lame as hell!!..lol!! Total square, but you know sometimes you need a square in ya life. Besides they have their pro's and con's. He open's doors and pays for everything without a problem. He cant dress for shit tho and is just an overall nerd! So it looks like i'mma have to cut him off too. I also went to the "Wild Hare" a few weeks ago with my buddy "Say-So" and i met some guy up there. "Harry" Anyway i think he just wanted to hit my reefer, but it was all good. Anyway I had him take me home and when my duck ass gets out the car i left my friggin phone! So when i finally do get it back from him, i go thru it and it's pics of him and shit and pics of his TV..feet just dumb shit! i'm like WTF?? Freaky so he never got a call from me either. The thing is this muthafuka couldn't take the hint! He kept calling and calling and texting and leaving messages..Go away crazy ass dam! Okay let me inhale this polish sausage...nooo people get your minds out the gutta!!!..lol!! That's my Piece Peacceeee