Rockstar.

Heeeey Nah!... *poplocks

I'm stoked!!.. So my mom texted me late last nite telling me that she had heard, on the radio all day yesterday that Steve Harvey would be sponsoring a showcase at the Regal Theater on Thursday, which is ummm tomorrow! You know my ass jumped right on it! So I found out that they are only accepting the first 300 individuals to audition. I've got to be there super early, cause i've just got to get in there! I'm gonna sing my dam heart out! I'm gonna get that publishing deal one way or another. And my manager Paul is soooo... accomodating and supportive! He let me have the whole day off without any problems..so sweet of him.:) I wont forget you Paul when I make it!..LBS.. On another note I got approved for the apartment in Hyde Park Whoo Hoo!.. Well Damien did actually b/c my credit is shot at this point, but either way im excited because i am sooooooo...ready to get out that dam house! Citimortgage can come and air lift that b*tch off the ground if they want too!.. It's just too many hassles, bills and repairs when dealing with a house! Knowing what i know now, i'll be much wiser going in the second time around... I'm pondering on what song i should sing on tomorrow?. "Make U Mine" is my baby and I always sing it so well to me, but "Waiting In Vain" is just so emotional all the way thru that it's bound to give someone chills. So IDK just yet..i've gotta get home in the mirror and practice..lol... I went to the movies lastnite and saw that "Death at a Funeral" really could have waited until it came out DVD..but that dam show is just so phucken nice! High as hell, but nice nonetheless. Oh well thats my piece for today beautiful peoples...Peace..

*Sighs...

I'm in such a foul mood today! Lord help me!..I've been crying all dam day and the shit is doing nothing but giving me a fucken headache!!! My life is at a halt! I don't know what the fuck I'm s'pose to be doing when it comes to my so called "Relationship". I have the same dam argument with his ass all the time! Every time i think that we can work it out and salvage what we have, something happens to make me want to leave his ass all over again!. Now even before Gavin was born the argument was always the same. His ass wants to go outside every fucken day and sleep the dam day away when he is home. Like WTF is that! So things are no different than they were 11yrs ago! He's not supportive about any of my writings and he's immature as hell! I cant have an adult conversation with his ass w/o him giggling like a gat dam school girl! So i've posted some videos of myself singing some of my material acapella on Youtube. Everyone was so phyched about it! Especially his mother. So yesterday I pull up the "Youtube"and show him and he says nothing of course. Then i show him a new video that i had just uploaded the nite before. I was performing a song entitled "Anything" and before i went into the song i stated, "I wrote this for "Damien" years ago". Do you know what this muthafuka does? He laughs!! Yes! Laughs right in my fucken face! Like that gat dam school girl!..How insensitive is that?? That is my support system..like seriously. That shit hurt my fucken feelings, but do you think he gave a shit?..No! Then i asked, "What the fuck are you laughing about?" he says, "I'm just saying, why you put me on blast like that and yadda..yadda..yadda.." boy shut the fuck up! First of all aint nobody checking for your duck ass!..and secondly you should be flattered that i made a song for you nimrod! I can see if i was bashing the nigga in the song, but i was giving him props and saying that he could get "Anything" from me b/c he's so good! So yea this is the type of dumbshit i gots to deal with at home!.. Then lastnite he just haaaad to get his ass out the house! I'm like RUS?? Dam! What you think you gonna miss something out there in the street?. I was just baffled b/c we had just had an argument about the same shit the day before and he goes and do the same shit again??.. So i text him and say, "You make me sick!" He says, "I'm dropping Ken off too his car..I'm on my way!" Fuck Ken!!! You got shit at home that you need to get in order! I dont give a dam about no muthafucking Ken! Then he calls and I don't answer, so he text me some bullshit saying, "Dont be mad, it just be tight situations, you just need to understand." lol!!! Boooooooy you got me twisted inside and out! What the fuck do i need to understand huh?.. That your lil boy ass would rather rip and run the streets all dam day and night than spend time with your family?. That taking Ken to his fucken car is more important than Gavin and me??. I didn't even respond to that shit..b/c had i did, it wouldn't have been pleasant.. Then "Big Man" is smelling himself as usual. I sent him a random text one night lastweek some sweet shit. I dont know why i keep playing my own dam self when it comes to him, b/c i know he's a fucken asshole!..IDK..I guess eventhough I don't like his ass..my hearts still in love with him. Well anyway I sent his ass a text like 1:30am my time 2:30am his time. I knew he would be sleep, but that was fine cuz he would just get it when he woke up in the a.m. Plus we use to do this type of shit all the time. So i text, "Im thinking about you.". So the next day i gets nothing. No call..no text. So I text his big head ass, like "Hey You." He finally returns that text like 2 fucken hrs later! Such a gat dam fuckboy! I'm like, did you not get my text lastnight?.. "Oh yea I was dead sleep".."Umm i figured that, but thought that you hadn't received it since, i didn't get a reply." "I did reply sweetheart". Liar!!!! Not to this one..cuz I didn't get shit!. So i move on to something else. Letting him know i'll be in ATL for "Birthday Bash" this year and asked would I be able to see his face.. The muthaphuka ignores me again and that was it.. i went in!!!!.. Told his ass, "Why must you be so dam rude??! A simple I'm busy would suffice! What you think you too good to talk to me or sumthin?.. He's like, "Just b/c i reply late?.." i'm like, "Or not at all!"..You're just to dam rude for me..forget it!..He's like, "Okay". What the fuck Eva with all these punk ass niggas! I swear they get on my last fucken nerve!!!!!! OOOh weee i need to blow this spot asap and get me a blunt and a drink!!!!!! okay lata.

Me Rapping and singing some of my material..

I'm Sick!!

Somebody help me!.. My silly ass went out west lastnite to get my butta's whipped and ended up stopping in this lil candy store. They had alllll the old school candies and cookies and shit and so i purchased a few things. One being, "Hot Crunchy Curls" with nacho cheese and ground turkey! I know it sounds horrid, but it was actually good. So now today i am suffering BIGTIME!! Like running off and vomiting i'm like WTF?? Then my little babe Gavin is still not feeling well..:(. The MD diagnosed him with a "Upper Respitory" infection and he was getting fevers and had no appetite..i was scared to death! Now that the fever's have subsided he is now running off! He's such a little guy and i dont want him to get dehydrated, so i've gotta watch that. I pray it's not "Rotovirus" or something like that, b/c that is a very serious virus. I may just take him back to the E.R tonight..cause i've gotta make sure my main man is well.. So as far as my "romantic life" goes, it's pretty non-existant!. The new "Bo" that i met before i went out of town turned out to be a douche bag as well! Gat Dammit! I cant win for loosing with these muthafuckas!..Nigerians and all. Brief background: I went out and kicked it with him a few weeks ago and had a fucken blast! I mean he's charming too boot!.. and very attentive and stuff while im in his presence. I hooked up with him after work like on a Thursday and didn't make it home til about 2am..we had a ball!!.. But i end up leaving my phone at the bar up north where we were and had him go back and get it. I told him to just bring it down to my job in the a.m.. So when this nicca come to my gig, his face is all screwed up and shit and he's just acting all strange. So i put two and two together and figured he had to have went thru my phone. But when i got the phone there was nothing in it that was incriminating, so i wasn't sure what was with all the attitude. Unless he was ballsy enough to delete my shit! So basically everything went downhill from there. He stopped texting me..lol! And then when i text him he would reply hrs later, or sometimes just not at all. I must have missed the conversation when we decided that we were "Exclusive"..like WTF dude..i'm just really meeting your ass. So i send him some text about how he's being rude and yadda..yadda..yadda..that this will be my last time contacting his ass b/c i aint got time to chase no nicca! He then replies well fine! Have fun with your American and Jamaican boyfriend!.. Yep! He went thru my phone!..lol!.. How he know about my Jamaican friend??.. Lata for you dude, too much drama much too soon.. So yea another one bites the dust!... Bigman left me a msg on TRD saying "I like that profile pic sweetheart..sing me a song!"..lol Silly boy. I still got mad love for "BigMan" but i'm for sure not going backward. I'm focusing on me and my babe. Fucc all these niccas..cause they'll be there. I just gotta focus on getting me and Tuna out that sham of a house and work more on my music..gettting a demo and shit. All these niccas gone look like shit when i'm in Hollywood!..hahaha..whateva nicca right a "Tell All" book or some shit about me!..hahahah Kay that's my piece on this Friday Morning.. Peace.

Hey there!

So what's new & exciting in the world of ERICA??..Nuthing extreme thats for sure. I've just been working and living and laughing and smoking and singing and writing and playing and praying! And speaking of praying I REALLY I mean REALLY want to work on my relationship with the Lord! I haven't been to church in quite some time and I miss it terribly! I miss that feeling that I have once i'm walking out of church. It soooo sucks not having a car or not even knowing how to drive for that matter! So that is definately on my list of things to do in 2010. I gotta get me and Gavin a ride quick!..b/c his daddy works my dam nerve so much that we cant be in the same space for too long. Like this morning I over slept and had him bring me to work, he all but had a dam baby about the shit! Always pissing and moanin and I dont even ride in that dam car! And its amazing how everytime im in the bitch he needs "Gas Money" Nicca get the hell outta my face! I'm your child's mother for one and for two we live together!! I aint giving yo ass nothing! But see i was nice today and when he pulled up to my gig i handed him a $20 and said "Thanks, here cry baby". You know this fool thew my money on the seat like it wasnt shit and didn't bother to say thanks. He lucky i didnt haul off and slap his ass like i'm sure Rhianna did in that passenger seat of young Chrissy's car, but instead i fixed his money hunrgy ass and politely took my shit back! Then he gets to hollering all out the window, "Well at least give me $5 for gas for having to come all the way down here!." Ummmm..NO! Had your ass acted right you would have had the whole 20! I carried my ass in the building w/o looking back at his ass.. So i'm going to ATL for my bday! Yeeeea boi! Chrissy (Charisma) is out there and we're gonna have us a funky good time! I'm ready lord knows I am! I need a break from this madness. I'll be making a stop in "Florida" tho before i make it to her..hehehehe.. i know i know..but i'm "ME" and the last time i checked i do what i want! He doesn't even know i'll be there...but oh he will. Let's just call it a "Hooch Stop"..lol..a lil well actually a BIG birthday present to myself..:))))) kay lata..chow!

I'm sooo Excitied..yes again!

And i just cant hide it!!!! :)))) Hey there! Long time no font!..i know i know..but anyway update! So i've been going crazy on the Open Mic shit. I've just been doing them any dam way fuck it! I'm like I know i'm the writer, but i know that i can sang too, so why not sing them so that the songs can gain exposure you know?? Well anyway, most recently I went and did an open mic showcase at The Checkerboard" lounge in Hyde Park. This guy that I grew up with "Zamien" cute ass invited me out and so i went. I performed my baby, "Make U Mine" and you know i killled it!!!!..lmao!! They loved it!.. and showed me much much love! My mom even suprised me and came out for support, her and her Friend Annette. It was grand! Thats a nice spot too. They had nice strong $5 drinks all nite and food as well, the crowd was nice and sophisticated also. So i'll definately be back. I've gotta work on my voice tho, b/c a lot of the songs i've composed sound better if sung on a much higher note that I can attain myself, but hell i'mma try! Anyway after I was done this chick came up to me and wanted to know if i had any management. Real cute lil chick, of course I used "Isolated Music Ent" my lil cousin's name just so that she didnt think a sistah was out here all loosey goosey tho i am..lol. But all my shits copywritten anyway so, i'm cool. Well that was Tuesday and i hadn't talked to her yet. So i just got off the phone conversing with her for a bit about the things that she does and the industry folks that she's worked with. She does PR work for Def Jam and she's contracted with Jive records doing PR work for them as well. She mentioned the A&R executive "Kevin Shine" and of course my ass googled him..lol..so it's legit! Anyway she says that he's out in ATL now, but wants to see if we can arrange a date and time so that i can meet with him and let him hear my songs!!!! GREAT!!!! HELL YEA WE CAN! :)))) I'm soooo elated!! I pray that this is the contact that i've been waiting for. Usually I only get men who come up to me asking if i need a producer..yadda..yadda..yadda..but never a female. So i felt more comfortable and was able to turn down the charm a bit and be more about business. So prayfully i'm on my way, so me and my lil man Gavin can get the hell outta here!!!..Whoo Hoo!!!! Thank you Jesus!!!!