Pissy!!!

I'm here of course at this place called work. I'm pissed off right about now, but i'll get into that a little later. Just for a recap on the weekend, it was pretty grand! Friday i went to Vidal Sassoon and spent $230.00 on a perm and a nice little pixie cut! I know it was expensive, but the service was great and i actually like the style. I'll definately be going back. I purchased some nice carndigans for Dame for sweetest day and it felt good doing that for him since he's been trying so hard. I always liked shopping for him(I always do a better job than he does). Saturday i chilled out with my lil man and we're getting some work done on our house and it's coming along.:)) I also called my crazy ass sister and deaded the whole "Drama" thing with her about me and my mom's feud. We talked for quite a while. Me and her i sooooo much alike that it scares me sometime. Yesterday Dame and I took Gavin to the Shedd Aquarium to see, "Fantasea." It's a show that's held in the Oceanarium and displays the jumping dolphins and penguins and Ulga whales..he loved it!! And so did Damien's over-grown ass..lol! I had to pull him away from a few of the exhibits b/c he was so engrossed in them. We finsihed it off with dinner downtown and it was really nice. I told him we need to get in the habit of doing things with Gavin "Together" more often. He agreed. Gavin just loves to see us together..it's amazing... So I also called my mom. She didn't answer and so i left her a message apologizing for speaking to her so harshly the week before. Told her that i think that we really need to talk, b/c i for sure still have some un-resolved issues from the past..when she put me out at 15 and choose her now deceased husband (RIP) over her children. I'm guessing Tameca (my sis) has moved on from this. She was 18 at the time, but me i was just a baby. And noone knows all the things that i had to endure at that age to survive. The thing that hurts the most probably is b/c she never said she was sorry. Or she's never said why...or how she could do that to her child. I spoke with her about 30 mins ago and just asked why she even felt the need to discolse to me that amount of $ she had and then to go on andtell me how much she was giving someone else's child. I said, "Ma you didnt have to tell me that. And then for you to get angry when i ask for $100.00. I said, so if i came into 15,000 and didnt give you a dime, would you be upset?" "Naw"..she replied, more like lied! Because i'm sure she would be. I would never do that tho. It's more than about money to me though, just the principal that she wouldn't even consider giving or even want to give. IDK. She ended up hanging up again and so did I. I'm sorry to say it, but i'm done. I just know what kind of mother to "NOT" be to my child...never a selfish one.

Raining Love...

So i am like loving that! I'm woking on coming up with lyrics and making that a new song. Yea..i actually like that a lot. So i'm still at this place called "work" and i've got another 1 1/2 to go..uuggh!!! Working 10hr days in this camp is driving me bananas! When i make it to the crib I am usually beyond tired! All i usually have time for is a quick bite and off to bed to do this shit all over again. Last night when i came home though Damien did have dinner cooking and he ran me some bath water. That was nice..:) He's really trying. My lil man Gavin be so happy to see his mama...just makes me beam inside. I just wish i had more time to spend with him you know.This is why I KNOW i've got to make something happen. This 9-5 well technically this 8-6:30 shit is for the birds! Dont get me wrong i'm more than thankful for the job, but really i cant see myself doing this for the rest of my days. So this is why i'm gonna work on "Raining Love" tonight on my way home and make it HOTT!!! *Chow

Time heals all wounds...

Aint that the truth! I was sitting here reading over some of my older post and it is simply amazing what a little time would do. Well for a quick update, my childs father (Damien) and I have reconciled. And "yes" it's a good thing..:) We had a mature adult conversation and both agreed that our relationship of 12yrs now is definately worth preserving. We're working together financially to get some much needed updates on the crib. My "Darling Knight" (Gavin) will be starting daycare this month and so we're all excited about that. He's getting soo.. big!! I swear he seems to grow overnight. So for the most part things at home are pretty good..:) Last Wed, though my mom pissed me off. She's came into $15,000 and when i asked her for $100.00 measly bucks (since 2weeks had passed and she hadnt offered a dime) she flies off the handle, screams "No" and hangs up in my face! Like WTF??? Like forreal?..You cant give me $100.00 and at least say it's for your grandchild?..just amazing! I don't know what kinda momma i got! That's like me getting 15,000 and not hitting her. I would never do that! But you know what i wasn't suprised. She stopped playing mommy to me when I was 15, but that's a whole different story on a whole different day... My music writing career is looking up!..:) I entered the VH1 "Save The Music" contest in August and though i didn't win 1st place i did win "Runner Up". They get submission from all over the world so that to me is a pretty big dam deal! I'm on my way..i can feel it in my bones..i know the Lord 's got a plan for me!. *Chow